PlanningBlog – Brodies LLP

Aficionados of the Brodies Tech Blog will have read reports of the presence of Cybermen in the capital; indeed our very own Douglas Mathie is pictured in a supposed street battle with one of these reputed Sci Fi menaces in the middle of Festival Square.

Without wishing to cause a domestic incident, I have put it to Douglas that the alleged Cyberman was indeed a man in a plastic suit, in other words, a faux Cyber invader!

Three clues give rise to this allegation – (1) unless Eleanor Peterkin, who also appears in the photo, is in league with alien invaders, which although possible seems highly unlikely, she looks far from troubled at the prospect of Douglas’s imminent demise (it takes more than bare knuckles to get one over on one of those guys, although I concede that the tie might have done the trick), and (2) because there have been no major planning related incidents in the vicinity of Festival square.

The absence of planning related incidents was the biggest give away. For, where Cybermen go the Doctor will follow, and there’s no Doctor without the Tardis. And you’re not telling me that the sight of an unauthorised blue police box in Edinburgh City Centre would not have resulted in complaints to Development Control. There will be some among you thinking – get up to date woman – mediation is the new DC -but if you want to take your chances mediating with a Cyberman, that’s entirely your choice.  As a lawyer I am bound to point out that there may be some attendant risk .

In a way it’s just as well the whole thing was a spoof because the Tardis may have presented DC with a pretty unique challenge. Does it, or does it not require planning permission? The Tardis (Time and Relative Dimension in Space) is not a spaceship (in which case it would not require planning permission, but probably would attract a parking ticket). It’s a time machine. It transports its occupants through space and time. Arguably, for the purposes of the Use Classes Order, it’s sui generis. A bit like vehicle hire, except that it always has to be driven by the Doctor, because it won’t start unless it detects the Rassilon Imprimature gene which is unique to Timelords. So, maybe more like a taxi business (also sui generis), except that the Doctor is not known for carrying fare paying passengers, so probably not.

Of course the Tardis is a lot bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. It is, after all, where the Doctor lives. So, is it a residence (Class 14)?  Not sure, because from a number of accounts I have learned that there are all sorts of things in there. Storage, dormitories etc. How big is the storage? (don’t pretend you know the answer to that because you have not been inside it). Big enough perhaps to suggest Class 6?

How many dormitories? Sufficient to give rise to suspicions of Class 7?  Let’s face it, there could be anything in there! A swimming pool, an ice rink (current and last Doctor look fit enough to give rise to suspicion of such facilities), a bingo hall perhaps (I think Tom Baker would you know)…. and we are all the way back to sui generis.

Of more concern to the good citizens of Edinburgh is all the dematerialisation that goes on in there. Sounds like a potential candidate for Class 5 (general industrial)– and you don’t want that in the shadow of the Castle!

It comes, and it goes. So, is the Tardis a temporary building for the purposes of Part 4 of the Permitted Development Order?  Well, at first I scoffed at this suggestion, because there are no associated operations on adjoining land. But what about the refurbishment of the Usher Hall ? Just over the road! Or perhaps tram? Is this how the Doctor finances his jet set, time continuum lifestyle – navvying on infrastructure and building projects?

At this point I realise I need to calm down… there were after all three reasons for doubting the presence of Cybermen in Edinburgh ….. (3) it WAS ONLY  A MAN IN A PLASTIC SUIT.